My Bologna Has A First Name

As the great Rob Lowe once sang on the broadcast, "Rollin', Rollin', Keep Those Cameras Rollin'."

It time for me to once again share with you, the little people, my vast knowledge of the film industry. Today I will give you an insiders look into this year's Academy Awards.

First up there's good news and bad news when it comes to the pre-Oscar build up. The good news is Barba Wawa is stepping down from her annual duties giving us a behind the scenes look at a collection of the most pompous and eventually irrelevant actors and actresses in the movie industry. Barbara's personal brand on insipidity has given us some insight into our favorite matinee idols over the years. Who can forget Sean Connery sharing with America that he occasionally has to beat his wife around...you know when she's not listening. And I especially like the ever-earnest Billy Crystal comparing his preparation to his Oscar hosting duties to a baseball player prepping for the World Series. I especially loved when Babs cooed in response to Billy's boast the he would do as many as twenty push-ups just before he took the stage. No wonder they call it a "Special."

The bad news is that Harpo Winfrey has already taken over the mantle and has decided to do something new and fresh with it. And when I say new and fresh I mean she's stealing other people's ideas. Her twist is having stars interview other stars. It's hard to describe but...well let me see...oh I know it's Iconoclasts but on ABC. Oh, oh and Ms. Winfrey introduces each segment with pithy insight like, "Did you her Michael refer to Glen as Glenny?" Painful, but at this point I expect nothing less from Mrs. Gayle King. No wonder Sirius/XM pays her the big bucks.

I'm going to do a little breakdown of the Oscar's for tomorrow but in the mean time here are the winners:

Orig. Screenplay- Mark Boal, Hurt Locker
Adpt. Screenplay- Jason Reitman, Up In The Air
All the Special Effects and Technical Awards- Avatar
Live Action Short- The Door
Animated Short- Nick Park, Wallace & Grommit always win (Loaf and Death)
Orig. Song- T.Bone, The Weary Kind
Orig. Score- UP
Film Editing- this used to indicate the eventual winner of best picture, Avatar (Should be Inglourious Basterds)
Cinematography- Avatar
Art Direction- Avatar
Animated Film- UP
Foreign- The White Ribbon
Director- Kathryn Bigelow (Should be Jim Cameron)
Sup. Actor- Christoph Waltz
Sup. Actress- Mo'Nique
Actor- Jeff Bridges
Actress- Sandy Bullock
Picture- Everyone thinks its Avatar or Hurt Locker but because of the ten nominees and the STUPID way that they give points out the winner will be either Inglourious Basterds or Up In The Air. I'll take the Basterds in the biggest upset since Marisa Tomei winning for My Cousin Vinnie.

I'll see you on the other side.