Hump Day Redux

Well I hate to say it but I told you so...wait a second I LOVE to say I told you so. What was I thinking? It's, like one of my favorite things to do. In fact I hate it when people say that they "hate to say it." It's a complete lie. Not only are they excited to "tell you so" but they have been rehearsing it over and over in their head leading up to the opportunity to do so. There is nothing like bragging about your own personal brilliance.

So as I was saying, I LOVE to say so I told you so, Jay Leno has killed an institution, two TV shows and an entire Television Network. In case you want proof that I warned you check here.

Former CEO Jeff Zucker made one of the biggest mistakes in the history of television, maybe all of entertainment. Late Night Television was OWNED by NBC thanks to the Tonight Show and Saturday Night Live. Those two shows are institutions. Lorne Michaels was smart enough to keep a death grip on SNL but NBC has run the Tonight Show directly into the ground.

Believe it or not NBC started chipping away at the Tonight Show when they first replaced Carson with the unfunniest (that's a word right?) host in the history of the medium. [editor's note- I include Tom Green, Chevy Chase AND Carson Daly in that, but I don't pile on Magic Johnson because he won five NBA Titles and that should account for something.] While Leno eventually took a strangle hold on the ratings, the Tonight Show wouldn't have needed Hugh Grant's mea culpa to get them. The Tonight Show would've seemlessly transitioned had they chosen Letterman from the jump. Leno had NO following then and would've had to had to stand on his own abilities if another network had offered him a similar gig. We now know that he has none and he would've been off the air faster than Pat Sajak.

Jay sped up the Tonight Show death march by talking over the 10PM slot this fall which was NEVER watched, recorded or necessary. This caused people to leave NBC at 10PM never to return again. The local NBC affiliates lost ad revenue, which furthered the demise of the Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien. All toll Zucker's decision to appease Jay cost $200 million dollars. So not only does The Jay Leno Show get cancelled but Conan O'Brien is done as the host of the Tonight Show and the mystique of the Tonight Show is dead.

Conan O'Brien shouldn't accept NBC's terms to move back to the 12 hour, even if it means losing some of his guaranteed money. He should get as far away from Leno and NBC as possible. Conan should move back to New York, take the gig with Fox, open up about what a douche Leno really is and give up trying to be the nice/safe guy. No matter what happens Conan will forever be tarred by this New Coke decision and it's not his fault.

If Conan wants to really get back at Leno and NBC he should move to 11PM with Fox. This will further erode the dwindling ratings for the local NBC affiliates, which would be a game changer. If there is one thing that we can be sure of it's that Americans don't want to hear local news. That's why The Daily Show is successful and it's the main reason SportsCenter starts at 11PM. Nobody cares about local news. How else can you explain why Perez Hilton has more readers than the top three newspapers combined.

This story does have a silver lining or two. First Jimmy Kimmel should benefit from a passive lead-in from Conan at 11PM even if it is on a different network. People will just bounce from Conan to Kimmel and will avoid the talentless Leno and surly Letterman [editor's note- I'm a huge Letterman guy, but he has been almost unwatchable lately. Too political and angry. He hammered Susan Sarandon the other night to such a degree that I was rooting for her to just leave. Susan doesn't need that. You'd think Dave would be happy, what with Tiger talking his name off of the front page. I actually heard a friend of mine say that, "Well at least Letterman only cheated on his wife with one girl and they seemed to be in sort of a serious relationship." WHHATTT?]

The other person who stands to gain from all of this is Lorne Michaels. It is only a matter of time before NBC is forced to give Lorne the coveted Late Night Programming Czar title. Under Dr. Evil's directon, Jimmy Fallon will slide into the Tonight Show. Fallon is totally harmless and refuses to take any risks but does so in an affable way. Those are the kinds of traits that are perfect for the Tonight Show in this PC world. I think stars will prefer to go on Fallon's show, and Craig Ferguson's for that matter, because they get treated like a pretty girl on those shows. And there's nothing TV and Movie Stars like more than to be treated like a pretty girl..

The whole thing is a mess and I blame Jay Leno, but the rest of these guys should also be ashamed of themselves as well. Late Night talk shows have turned into an hour long product placement, with shoe-horned clips of early acting roles that were provided by the feigning embarrassed star's publicist and sprinkled with prearranged one liners. Shecky Green would get douche chills watching these shtick-happy hosts.

Until they sort all of this out I'll continue to watch Craig Ferguson because he is the closest thing to the Master that we have. Johnny Carson must be rolling over in his grave...fortunately he is probably rolling ONTO Carol Wayne.