This Daddy May Care

Really? Take your kid to work day? Anyone else see this little news item? You have got to be kidding me.

Ok, there are certain jobs that you don't get to bring your kid to work for and Air Traffic Controller at JFK is WAY up the list. Yep, in fact it may rank ahead of EVERY SINGLE JOB IN THE WORLD. No wait, Nuclear Bomb Dropper. That one comes in just ahead of Air Traffic Controller for jobs that you can't let your child do. But considering the fact that no body has dropped a bomb on populated area since 1945 Air Traffic Controller might get the nod for practical reasons.

I mean really. It's more understandable for a Brain Surgeon to allow her kid to take a few cracks with the ol' scalpel.

Ok, now carefully peel back the tissue and you will see the Amygdala. Good, good. Now slowly slice- NO, NO not the- Oooooh, nope...you missed it. THAT was the brain stem. Yeah, he's dead. Nice try though. Now remember, Johnny, only one person died here today because of you. It's not like I was irresponsible enough to let you control the lives of a plane full of people. HaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Could you imagine. 

Seriously, let's think about this for a second. Maybe I'm overstating this whole thing. Deep breath, in through the nose...out through the mouth.... And...Zen.

Ok, in terms of inappropriate jobs for the Miley Cyrus-set there are a few jobs that rank ahead of Air Traffic Controller. Like Mafia Hitman for instance. You don't want to take your kid out to whack someone, could be scarring. Porn Directors, Key Grips and Gaffers should probably steer clear of the Bring Your Daughter to Work days. Shamu Wrangler, Tiger Caddie, CIA Operative, Jay Leno Writer, New York City Comptroller, and French Diplomat are all professions that don't need to be shared with the next generation either. 

But as awful as those jobs are there is a limited risk involved. Sure they may scar your child forever and in some case could be harmful physically but none of those jobs involve keeping multi-million dollar vehicles,loaded with Jet fuel and hundreds of blissfully unaware civilians, from crashing into one another.

I don't like to brag but I took Principles of Flight (pass/fail), in college so I think I know a little something about aviation. OK? So, let me tell you something. Never, and I mean NEVER...take a course pass/fail senior spring where you have to learn how to fly a plane. BIG mistake. I could've taken Jazz where you just sit around listening to Dave Brubeck's Blue Rondo Ala Turk, but Noooooo I had to listen to Paulo. Wait, what were we talking about?

Air Traffic Controller kids! Right. I know what you're saying, "Trip, you are totally overreacting to this. Glenn Duffy was just letting his kid tell the Pilots that they were clear for take-off. No harm, no foul."

What? OK, I'm sorry I guess you're right. I should really let this thing go. No big whoop. I'll let it go...just as soon as YOU can tell me why the FAA makes you do the following in order to become an Air Traffic Controller:

• 4-year college degree or 3 years of full-time work experience
• completion of the FAA-Approved Air Traffic Control Program that amounts to a years worth of Graduate School
• Working knowledge of Trigonometry, Algebra, Micro and Macro Economics, Physics, Aviation Computer Systems and Electronics
• A full medical and psychological evaluation
• 15 hours in the simulator
• Must be older than 21, and can't start if you are older than 31. I'm not sure why that is everybody knows you keep getting smarter, faster and better looking once you hit 40.

Oh, yeah there's one more little, tiny, microsopic thing...you have to be able to speak. I'm sorry if I get a little nervous with the idea that some five year old kid might not properly enunciates his threes. God forbid!

"You're clear for landing US Airways Fo - Zewo - TREE." 

"What! A Tree? What tree? Where's the tree? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

I'm sure it's just a coincidence that Sully Sullenberger announced his retirement yesterday.