This movie is a complete piece of deuce, I guarantee it. I am so confident that this movie sucks, that I am willing to watch every single episode of Jenna Elfman's show Scientology On Purpose, on a continuous loop, if I'm wrong.
It's too bad too because I've been a fan of Bruce Willis since Moonlighting. But let's be honest, this movie is just an amateurish knock-off of Lethal Weapon with Tracy Morgan playing the Genie. You get a quick glimpse of Tracy Morgan's comic gold in some of the recent TV spots. "Scaw-Face." Funny, funny stuff.
I mean nothing is more annoying than watching an actor do bad impressions in a movie. Robin Williams seemed inventive in Aladdin, but that was a cartoon...and Genie's aren't real. Actors doing schtick is so cringe worthy that it makes those pre-school beauty pageants seem tolerable. If you need examples of "schtick" please rent the Robin Williams/Billy Crystal Criterion Collection Double Pack, available at Walmart.
We all know that there are three major problems with this movie.
Problem #1. Bruce Willis is desperately trying to stay relevant. This is a two pronged problem. First he wants to stay relevant with his audience. He had a knack for picking cool interesting material (12 Monkeys, Fifth Element, Pulp Fiction, Nobody's Fool) in the early 90's but he seems to have morphed into that old guy that wears hip/trendy close longer than he should. The only good news here is that he still looks like Bruce Willis. Meg Ryan had the same problem but ended up looking like this. She looks like Ally McBeal right? I KNOW!!! By the way the Mickey Rourke thing was too easy...and creepy.
And PRONG TWO. He's trying to stay relevant with his family. I mean marrying someone the same age as your kids only works for the mom. Bruce should try to avoid keeping up with Ashton. I'm not sure how it got there but THAT kid has a really big horseshoe in his rectum. There is just no other explanation for his popularity. He puts out more $#!+ than American Idol.
Problem #2. BAD DIRECTING. Don't get me wrong I actually really like Kevin Smith. I find his success heartening. He has a loyal fanbase, mostly because he is loyal to them. He makes himself available, signs autographs and normally buys a second seat on airplanes.
By the way, I happen to think that his writing is interesting. The problem with Kevin has ALWAYS been that he isn't a good director, doesn't have a good eye and edits poorly. It's funny, because he agrees. Or at least he has said as much in his stand-up ranting, interviews, Smodcasts, tweets, and in his own writing.
I don't begrudge the man, and I actually think that it was rather brave for him to take a chance on directing a Studio Comedy but it's time to move on now. Stick with the writing and producing. He should spend some time finding someone that can translate his stuff to the screen because I think that it could work with the right touch.
Problem #3. Tracy Morgan. This guy IS funny. Listen to him on Howard Stern and I defy you to stop before the end of the interview. You will literally sit in your car outside a potential listing laughing your ass off, as you get later and later for your appointment. Or something like that.
He is also one of the most consistently funny things about 30 Rock, where he plays Tracy JORDan. Totally different person. He can't be an easy person to write for but someone will find a way to utilize him in a movie down the road, which will cause him to fall back off the wagon but that's a different story for a different time. If there is one positive about this movie its that anyone that watches it will have a new found respect for Tina Fey.
Three strikes and you're out, or should I say, you're COP OUT. Get it? Bottom line, this movie isn't going to be any good and you know it. Rent and Evening with Kevin Smith, watch Tracy Morgan do his stand-up and follow Ashton Kutcher on Twitter.
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