Little Ben

So ESPN announced late last night that Ben Roethlisberger will NOT be charged with sexual assault. I decided when the accusations were made initially that I would reserve judgement until the case was resolved.

Well it looks like he didn't do anything wrong. According to sources, Milledgeville, GA District Attorney, Fred Bright, just didn't have enough to prosecute the 28-year old, two time Super Bowl winning Quarterback. In this twenty-four second news cycle, everyone LOVES to pile on the accused, especially if they are a celebrity. Long gone is the idea of innocent until proven guilty. Anyone remember the Duke Lacrosse team?

Having said that, Roethlisberger is guilty. Wait, what? You aren't standing behind the quarterback that brought the Steelers two Super Bowls after a twenty-six year drought? Nope, as Mike Singletary would say, Can't Do It. 

So what's he guilty of? Being an idiot. I don't know, how about bad judgement. Arrogance, entitlement, immaturity, selfishness, scumbagginess? Pick one. The bottom line is that he is an embarrassment and needs to be traded... Today. Before the draft.

Kevin Colbert, get Al Davis on the horn and send Ben to the Black Hole immediately. I waited twenty-six years between Super Bowls, the Steelers will be fine without him. Since I have been a Steelers fan the Steelers have made it to the AFC Championship more than 33% of the time. That's right, since 1974 the Steelers have played in the game leading up to the Super Bowl 14 times. Of the competitive teams in the NFL that's twice as many as the next best team. [editor's note- The Raiders have made it to 11, but are they really "competitive?"] 

If the front office is feeling bad about trading away their franchise Quarterback they could show their appreciation by having a Big Ben Night when he comes back to town. They could have it coincide with the next helmet give away, have Hooter's sponsor it and give him a custom Harley Davison. You know so there won't be any hard feelings.

Play for the Redskins or the Raiders? Drink a Kale or Broccoli Milk Shake?

Let me get this straight, the Philadelphia Iggles sent Donovan McNabb to the Washington Napoleans for a 2nd round pick in this years draft, a 3rd or 4th in next years and a booster seat with the initials Daniel Snyder.


On the surface this appears to be a pretty fair deal for both sides, right? Wrong. When was the last time the Redskins made a good off-season transaction? Albert Haynesworth was such a monumental mistake that they tried to send him to Philly in the McNabb deal...and the Eagles opted for the 3rd or 4th in NEXT year's draft. Clinton Portis was pretty good, but Running Backs are a dime a dozen and the Napoleans gave up a shutdown Corner to get him. Brunell, Sanders, Smith, no, no, and no. I think the last truly successful football transaction made by the Redskins was when they picked up Riggo back in the day. Even Doug Williams was only good for one year

Sorry 'skins fans but until Shanahan proves otherwise, we have to assume that the Washington Redskins got taken in this deal. The next solid football decision Danny Snyder makes will be his first solid football decision. By the way and included Tom Cruise in the photo for scale.


The other aspect of this trade that I find disturbing is all the class McNabb has shown publicly. I mean what's with THAT? And was that, Eagles head coach, Andy Reid becoming choked up at the very thought of playing a season without number 5 during an interview on the Mike and Mike- In The Morning?

Didn't these people learn anything from Brett Favre during his decade long march to Retirement3.0? How can Kevin Kolb sit there during his press conference expect us to believe that Donovan McNabb was helpful and largely responsible for his development as a Quarterback and a man? Come on, what was Donovan thinking? Helping a young player develop? That's not how it works. If we have learned anything from Brett Favre over these last several years its that it is impossible to be a stand up guy the face of competition. You know the old saying, "It's always more important to look good, seem supportive and act down-to-earth, than it is to actually BE successful, supportive and down-to-earth."

I actually think that the McNabb-Favre connection is pretty strong. Besides the obvious loyalty stuff, if you were putting together the list of the greatest QB's of all-time they would be closer to each other than they would be to the top. Oh, keep it down. Anyone that has Brett Favre ranked in the top ten all-time is dumb and doesn't get to rank anything else every again.

Let's face it, if you strip away the "gunslinger" moniker from Favre, both he and McNabb will be remembered as highly successful signal callers that always played just well enough to lose the big game.

Don't get me wrong, I'm rooting for McNabb. No one has done more with less over the last ten years. Other than TO, McNabb has never had a  Pro Bowl receiver on his team. You know who had that same kind of support during his career?..John Elway. Of course Elway finally surrounded himself with enough talent to win a couple of Lombardi's at the end of his career. If only McNabb could somehow find the architect of those Denver teams.

Oh, that's right it was Mike Shanahan, and Elway was a year older than McNabb when Shanny took over the Donkey's. AND this time around Shanahan has not one Running Back but THREE solid Backs to choose from in Larry Johnson, Clinton Portis and, my personal favorite, Fast Willie Parker. You want to know something else? Washington has a pretty good defense, something Denver was lacking.

Maybe I need to reassess my position on this McNabb trade. Maybe, just maybe, Little Danny Snyder has finally figured out how to make solid football decisions for his-

NAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Rooting Interest

Super Bowl Sunday is like a minute an a half away and I still don't know who to root for. What to do?

Here's the typical thought process. I love the Steelers, which means I hate, in order: The Ravens, Browns, Bengals, Raiders, Patriots, Cowboys, Broncos, Dolphins and Titans (they used to be the Oilers afterall). The last six are ranked on a sliding scale depending on the year. So when it comes to the Super Bowl, I have been really lucky over the last several years because it was easy to determine my rooting interest. You see typically the Steelers are in the Super Bowl and on the very rare occasion that they aren't  I can typically count on rooting against the Patriots, Ravens, Raiders, Broncos, Titans or Cowboys. 

This year is different, because by some weird circumstance none of the aforementioned teams made it to the big game. This year we have the wholesome Indianapolis Colts and the real America's Team, New Orleans Saints. The only fair thing to do is weigh all the issues that are the pertinent:

Most Popular Player-

Most people immediately jump on the Peyton's-such-a-good-guy bandwagon, but not me. The guy that is the easiest to root for on the Colts is...Pierre Garcon. Garcon fits the classic hero out of nowhere mold and to make him even more likeable he's from Haiti. He played inspired football in the AFC Championship Game and is gracious and humble.

For the Saints you have to take Drew Brees. Brees has all of the intangibles that made Doug Flutie popular with the added bonus of being well liked by his teammates. This guy is a hard working over achiever in a 6-foot softball player's body. He used to beat Andy Roddick in tennis, back in the day, and has quietly helped nurse New Orleans back from Katrina. Watch his pregame chant with the team and you will want to run through a wall for him.

I know it might seem unfair but I'm an under achieving 6-footer in a bowlers body so I'll take Brees. Saints 1-0

Most Annoying Player-

When he was with the Giants the answer would've been Jeremy Shockey in a walk. But since he moved to New Orleans he has been hampered with injuries. His health coupled with getting away from the New York Media, the big jerks, Shockey has appeared humbled and much less annoying.

So for me, the most annoying player on the Saints is...Reggie Bush. This guy was made out to be the next of O.J. Simpson. The speed, the explosiveness, the suddenness. The national media told us he had it all, he was the complete package. But in his four years in the league he has accumulated just UNDER 2,000 rushing yards. In four YEARS. T-O-T-A-L. So unless he starts killing people, Bush doesn't share any attributes with the Juice. In fact, everything about Reggie Bush is overrated...including his girlfriend, Kim Kardashian. Wait a second...Kardashian...how about that, there is an O.J. connection afterall.

Perhaps the most annoying thing about the Colts is that they don't have enough personality to BE annoying. Peyton's kind of annoying, I guess, you know with all of the hand jestures. He approaches the line of scrimmage like he's got flag duty on the tarmac of O'Hare. Ok, I don't really find him that annoying I just wanted to work "tarmac" into the blog so I could win a bet from a buddy of mine.

So, anyway, most annoying Colt. I'm going with Jim Irsay. His family was ultimately responsible for moving the team out of Baltimore, I hate the Ravens, the Baltimore Ravens wouldn't exist if not for Irsay, ergo through the Law of Syllogism I hate Irsay.

The Colts complete lack of interesting characters makes this another win for the Saints. Saints 2-0

Home Town/City

Let's see Nola versus Indianapolis. Hmmm. How do I decide on which city to root for. It's so hard. I mean how do you determine which city is more interesting and rootable?

New Orleans is known for its music, cuisine and ambiance while Indianapolis is famous for...uh...hrum...ah...being located in the middle of Indiana? No, that's not fair. Let's investigate a little further. I'll just open another tab here and use, the always reliable and incredibly accurate, Wiki-pedia. And search for Indianapolis, Indiana. This should give me everything I could ever hope to- What d'ya mean no results?
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There were no results matching the query. Indianapolis, Indiana doesn't exist. Nobody has ever heard of it.

Hey, wait a minute, my assistant Judy's from Indianapolis, so it must exist. Hey, Judy, get in here! This Green Tea is garbage and I thought I told you I hate things with a hint of mint. Don't give me excuses. The reason I called you in. What is THE coolest section of Indianapolis. You know somewhere that Kurt Vonnegut might have hung out, back in the day. Broad Ripple Village? You've got to be. Oh that's a real place? Because it sounds like the bonus section on Candyland. Sorry, thanks that's actually helpful. On your way. Oh, be a dear and bring me a chilled Kambucha would you...Grape, thhhhannnnks.

Ok, now we're getting somewhere. Broad Ripple Village. Ah-ha, says here that the motto there is "We're Open If You Are." That's promising...or really, really creepy. I mean, open to what? Maybe Indianapolis really does, as the kids say, have it going on. Well at least there's parking. Here's a picture of the hottest spot in Indianapolis.

Let's compare that to, oh I don't know, say the French Quarter. You know what? I don't think the French Quarter even HAS a motto. Which is totally lame. Now I've never been to New Orleans, but I'll bet that Mardi Gras thing is as overrated as Reggie Bush. Let's see here's a picture of a New Orleans hot spot...

Saints 3-0


Famous People


New Orleans has, grouped by category- writers: Truman Capote, William Faulkner, Elmore Leonard, Anne Rice and Tennessee Williams; musicians: Louis Armstrong, Lee Collins, Harry Connick Jr., The Marsalis Family, The Neville Brothers, Trent Reznor, Fats Domino, and Louis Prima; and finally Fat Loss guru Richard Simmons.


Indianapolis has, in order of importance- Kurt Vonnegut, David Letterman, Raggedy Ann, Dan Quayle, inventor of the sleeper-old Johnny Weaver and Vivica A. Fox.


It's a close one but, Saints 4-0


Miscellaneous

Nobody has been the architect to more Super Bowl losers than the Colts Team President Bill Polian

If the Saints win we'll get to enjoy Tom Benson dancing under his Umbrella, ella, ella.

Drew Brees is about three years away from losing all of his hair, and you know the old saying...Always root for the bald guy.

The Colts wussed out when they were staring an undefeated season in the face. The football gods don't typically like that sort of thing. 

Everybody is picking the Colts but hedging their bets by saying that they'd, "Really like to see the Saints win." Bull$#!+

Not me. I'm going all-in with the Saints. 

New Orleans 34 Indianapolis 28

I'm just Spiffballing here, but what if we try to hit their QB?

Greg Williams comments on that college radio program last week- What? Oh, really? You mean those guys giggling like school girls after one of the oldest cliched responses in football were "professionals". You're telling me they get paid for that? O-Kay.

Anyway, Greg Williams, Defensive Coordinator for the New Orleans Saints, used the always effective "cut off the head and the body will follow" standard response to an asinine question that was essentially, "Tell us what your gameplan is for the Super Bowl." Williams answered and followed it up with three or four accolades about Peyton Manning and the Colts offense. The only mildly incendiary comment came at the very end of the response when he said that his guys would need to put in a few "remember me" shots on the rare occasion that his team made it to the Quarterback.  

Was Greg Williams being disrespectful of Manning and the Colts? No, quite the contrary, he was actually lauding the future Hall of Famer and his ability to get rid of the ball long before a pass rush could ever get to him. So why all the hub bub over these comments. There must be something sinister at work here or ESPN wouldn't be making such a big deal out of them, right?

Perhaps everyone is making a big deal out of his comments because Peyton is concerned for his safety on the field? No that's totally moronic, Peyton Manning has had a bullseye on his chest, back and head since the day after the Colts picked him ahead of Ryan Leaf. And the fact of the matter is he almost never takes a hard shot. 

So that's not it. Let's see...hurmmm...I've got it the idea that when you hit the QB the whole team feels it is so revolutionary that every other team in the league just might institute a similar approach when they are putting a game plan together. 

That's it! Hit the Quarterback...hard. Pheew, I was beginning to think that this was just getting extra attention because of the Super Bowl. Well that and the suggestion that maybe, perhaps, the other team might want to take the NFL's prize pig out of the game. Boy, do I feel stupid. These comments really ARE a big deal.

Sorry everybody, nothing to see here, I was waaaay off base. This whole thing was over the idea that the other teams Quartarback must go down, oh, and he must go down hard...you know, so that the going down part is truly effective. Huh, that's weird...I just got the strangest flash of Deja Vu? Probably nothing.

[editor's note- Because these comments were made publicly about the aforementioned Cash Cow we are likely to see extra attention given to late hits and roughing the passer penalties. This sucks and I hope that I'm wrong but I would set the over/under for those penalties at three and a half.  Even the oft concussed Troy Aikman feels that the refs call too many penalties in the name of QB protection.]

Anyway, now that we have solved that little controversy the NFL can get back to the really important issues of the day. Like making sure that no one from New Orleans benefits from that "Who Dat?" slogan, because that's getting out of hand.

Now THATS How You Retire

While Brett Favre ponders his future in Elsinore, Louisiana Kurt Warner announced today that he was hanging up the cleats in order to move on to, what Chuck Noll used to call, "his life's work." He was composed and gracious in his press conference and seemed to be quite comfortable with the decision.

Warner doesn't get the same sycophantic reaction from ESPN, the NFL Network, Steve Mariucci, Primedouche, Chris Berman, Joe Buck, John Madden, Wranglers, Circuit City, Rich Eisen or Ron Jaworski that Favre gets, BUT he did win two league MVPs and took perennial league jokes, Arizona and St. Louis, to a total of three Super Bowls. And did it with one of the great back stories of all-time.

Think about everything that he had to over come. Grocery Bagging, Arena Football, Trent Green's knee, Dick Vermeil's incessant crying, his wife's infatuation with the Brady Bunches very own Ann B. Davis. Trust me there was a lot on Kurt Warner's plate.

It seems odd to me that Warner didn't get better treatment in St. Louis, Mike Martz kicked him to the curb a minute and a half after the Super Bowl loss to the Patriots. I know what you're saying, "but Trip, you always get on Favre and he was kicked to the curb in Green Bay."

Not true. Kurt Warner was in the middle of a twelve year career and had never "contemplated" retirement through the media. Offensive genius (I don't mean an good play calling strategist), Mike Martz, whose currently getting a paycheck as an analyst (and I don't mean someone that gives insight into strategy) on the NFL Network, wanted his own guy to run The Greatest Show on Turf. Brett Favre started publicly "contemplating" retirement in 2004. He never answered the question directly when the Packer brass would ask. So they drafted a QB that slipped to them at the end of the first round, a QB that many thought should've been draft #1 Overall mind you. Favre throw a hissy fit for the next three seasons, while Kurt professionally moved on.

It's funny, Kurt Warner was successful because he was an accurate passer that wasn't afraid to wait the extra second to allow his receivers to break open. It probably cost him a few years but it allowed his offenses to be special.

There is no doubt in my mind that he will eventually end up in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, the more interesting question? Where does he rank among the other HOFers?

I'm not saying that I would put him ahead of Favre but it's arguable. One fewer MVP, one more Super Bowl appearance, the 3 best Passing days in Super Bowl history, second all-time in average passing yards per game, second fastest to 30,000 yards, all-time completion percentage in playoffs, 2nd highest passer rating in playoff history (although I'm not a fan of the stat). All of his accomplishments happened in about two-thirds the time.

But the best stat of all...number of retirements- ONE.

Lame Kiffin

What do you do when you have the number one job in College Football available and your program is standing on the precipice of NCAA sanction induced torture? Hire Lane Kiffin. What John Calipari wasn't available?

I love that USC fans are all in a twit over the hiring of their fifth choice. I mean Jack Del Rio turned down USC and he's about to lose his job in Jacksonville because the owner is going to draft an H-Back to play Quarterback because it will sell tickets. [editor's note- The Over/Under on Del Rio being the Head Coach of the Jags is set at two years and I'm taking the UNDER.]. 

I'm a USC fan and I hate that Pete Carroll bailed for greener, although much wetter, pastures in Seattle. I will admit that I thought Carroll was different than the rest because I thought that he was running a relatively clean program, but the Reggie Bush thing broke and then Reggette McKnight came along and, well, let's just say I was wrong and leave it at that.

Lane Kiffin might have the charisma and hopefully he has learned from his stupidity at Tennessee, but I don't have a lot of confidence in his ability to LEAD, much less act as the CEO to the best football gig in the country.

"Wait, Trip. How can you possibly call USC the best football gig in the country."

It's funny you should ask. Being a college coach is infinitely easier than coaching in the NFL because-

1. You get to pick your players. No draft and no salary cap. 
2. Its easier to manipulate college kids than grown millionaires.
3. You set your schedule. Alameda Community College just doesn't have the talent that the Detroit Lions do.

And then as far as USC being better than every BCS School, and Notre Dame I will list the following-

1. Southern California
2. A Non-Confrontational Fan Base- there is nothing easier than low expectations and apathy. Everyone remembers the tail lights leaving Chavez Ravine when Kirk Gibson hit his Home Run against the A's, right? Well the term Los Angeles Sports Fans is an oxymoron. It's like Jumbo Shrimp. 
3. Recruiting- If you have ever walked around the campus of USC you would realize that recruiting young men to play football is like barrel fishing. The talent pool that exists in Southern California is really, really deep. And don't forget that there are really good football players from the area as well.
4. History and Tradition- SC is steeped in it. From Heisman winners to National Championships, TV Reality Stars to double murderers, the University of Southern California has it all.

It will be interesting to see what sanctions the NCAA place on USC because of the Bush/McKnight situations but eventually USC will climb its way back to the top of the heap. I just wonder whether this coach will be there when it happens. If I were picking someone I would've gone after Jeff Fisher hard.

Instead it's Lane Kiffin. And, sure, he is a ladder climber that will probably go back to the NFL in five years if he has ANY success. And, yes, he seems to be a total pain the in the neck and too cocky by half, but on the plus side he is going to really get under Jim Harbaugh's skin and there is nothing better than watching that red ass implode.

Chin's NFL Quatrains

I don't like to brag, but I have the ability to see the future. Nostradamus, Tarot, Ouija, The Great Karnak...morons. I choose to use these gifts for good. And at this time of the year I'll use it to predict the Super Bowl. In the interest of full disclosure I don't really want to do it because I'm a Steelers fan. Let's face it, I'm depressed, pissed, frustrated, angry and annoyed. But on the plus side, Rolando McClain is going to look good in Black and Gold.

Anyway, because of my apathy towards the NFL Playoffs without the Steelers I will have to revert to the time honored tradition and techniques used in sculpting to come up with my prediction. It's like that famous artist Mikey Angelo used to say, "I look at a slab of marble and just get rid of the parts that don't look like a big muscular man with a small penis."

So here it goes.

Unlike the rest of the National Media I will spend NO time talking about the Vikings chances. They have Favre at Quarterback and I am on record as saying that the last play of the season for Minnesota's Offense will be an interception. They aren't going to win anything. I can't wait to speculate on Brett's football future.  2Br~2B

Another team that doesn't need a lot of thought to eliminate are the Colts. They tanked the last two games of the season which hasn't worked for the last, um let me see....DECADE! Only one team has won the Super Bowl in the last ten years when they mailed it in during the final weekend. That team was the 2002 Bucs and while they may have rested their offensive starters, their offensive starters were Michael Pittman, that loud mouth wide receiver from ESPN, no not Cris Carter. He put up numbers when he played. I'm talking about the other guy. Anyway those two guys and starting Quarterback, BradJohnson. For some reason they rested him even though his only previous success was in a '80s TV show were they wore sports coats without shirts and solved crimes accompanied by Phil Collins music.

ANYway, I'm sure that the Bucs won because they gave those guys a rest. It probably had nothing to do with the defense...which rested nobody during their shutout of the Bears. Bottom Line the Colts aren't winning the Super Bowl either.

I could wow and amaze you with statistics and theories to support the next two eliminations but I'll be honest instead. I'm a STEELERS fan so the Balt-E-More Birdies and the Cincy Bungles are out.

I like the innocence of the Jets. Rex Ryan is a breath of fresh air in his pressers and I think that players love him. I also was a huge fan of both Darelle Revis from Pitt and Shonn Greene of Iowa before their respective drafts. Revis could be used as a return man as well ala Rod Woodson and Greene reminds me of Barry Foster...did I mention that I'm a Steelers fan? The only problem with the Jets is the rookie Quarterback. No team has ever won a Super Bowl with one and THIS rookie never won a big game in college. Sanchez won Bowl games but only after USC was eliminated from the National Championship by Cal or Oregon State. The Jets won't do it, not this year.

I hate New England, but I have to give them a punchers chance because of Brady and Brady alone. That defense is terrible, they can't pressure the Quarterback and the secondary is gawdawful. In fact the only talent on that side of the ball is Jerod Mayo and he still has a ways to go before we start talking about him in the same sentence as...oh, I don't know say JACK LAMBERT. I'm kidding, he's not even as good as Levon Kirkland, er- James Farrior. Hardy Nickerson, I mean David Little. Jerry Olsavsky, he isn't as good as Jerry Olsavsky yet.

What were we talking about? Oh, right the Pats. I'm afraid to say, and when I say afraid I mean totally over the moon about it, that this just isn't the Patriots year.

So that leaves San Diego in the AFC, but I am NOT picking the Chargers because Norv Turner is still the coach of that team and you know what that means? That means that Norv Turner IS STILL THE COACH OF THE TEAM. I would say "sorry" to all of the diehard Chargers fans but there aren't any.

The Saints are out because they were never that good to begin with. Too many holes and they hit their stride too early in the year. In this case I do apologize to the Saints faithful, because despite a bad economy and a devastated community they honestly support this team. Of course there isn't anything better to do in Nawlins than rooting for the Aints. Well nothing better to do that won't land you in jail. So what're ya gunna do 'bout dat?

The Dallas High-Def JumboTrons aren't going to win the Super Bowl either. I just can't pick a team where the Quarterback so consistently comes up small in the biggest moments. And don't forget that Romo is back to acting as the team's holder. Sorry JumboTrons you won't be playing in February, but at least you will have a really big f@(&ing TV to watch the Super Bowl from home. Turns out that the real reason they put a whole in the roof was so that God could watch TV. [editor's note- Jerry Jones is going to fire Wade Phillps. This hurts to type, but look for Cowher Power to find its way to Texas.]

So that leaves the Eagles, Packers and Cardinals. A quick breakdown of the strengths and weaknesses of these teams suggest an obvious winner. The Cardinals have been there before, but they also have an aging QB with a suspect defense and very little running game. The Packers have one of the five best QB's in the league, but a spotty running game, a weak pass blocking offensive line and they don't play well on the road. Finally, the Eagles have the most talented offense in the NFL, but also have a QB that likes to vomit at crunch time.

So it would seem that these three teams are pretty well balanced, right? I know what you're saying, "Hey Trip, you can't pick the Steelers so quit beating around the bush here and tell us your pick." 

Oh, yeah? Just watch me.

The Arizona Cardinals, or the Pittsburgh Steelers- Western Division, have everything that you need in a championship team. Unfortunately the strongest Steeler connection is with Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm and they both hate the Rooneys for passing them over in favor of Mike Tomlin. So, the Cardinals? OUT!

The Green Bay Packers are really hitting on all cylinders right now and the only blemish on their late season record is that exciting 36-37 loss to...you guessed it the Steelers. But that isn't even the real connection. The fact is the Cheeseheads have Dom Capers at Defensive Coordinator. Capers was the Steelers D-Coordinator during the Greg Lloyd-Rod Woodson led Blitzburgh years. In fact Dick LeBeau was originally the Secondary Coach for that toupee wearing defensive genius. Unfortunately for the Pack that will lead to their undoing because Capers is still bitter that LeBeau gets all of the credit for inventing the zone blitz. It's close, but the Packers aren't going to win the Super Bowl either.

This leaves only one team, the Philadelphia Eagles. Is it because of Andy Reid? No. The experience of Donovan McNabb? No. How about the electric receivers Desean Jackson or Jeremy Maclin? Nope. The reason the Eagles will win...because they used to be property of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Yep it's true, in 1943 Steeler owner/founder Art Rooney saved the Eagles for extinction by allowing them to join the Steelers for one season during WWII. Face it, there would be no such thing as the Philadelphia Eagles if not for the generosity and largess of the Pittsburgh Steelers. It's sort of like, you know, the way people credit Tony Dungy for the Bucs Super Bowl. Same thing.

HERE WE GE STEAGLES, HERE WE GO!!!

Momentum

When I sat down to write my latest entry this morning I was basking in the warm glow another late season swoon from the gun toting-wrangler wearing-gray beard. This time at the hands of Jay-eff George Cutler and that potent Bears offense. I was planning on killing Brett's selfishness and how it is killing the 3rd seeded Vikings but then I listened to the post game analysis.

These jokers spend more time covering up bad decisions than Bill Clinton's press secretary.  "The Vikings may have lost but Brett Favre is showing that he is in mid-season form and ready for a big playoff push." Really? He didn't score enough for his team to win. I mean that IS still how we determine a winner and a loser, right? The team that scores more wins. Am I right? Anyone, anyone, Bueller. And these rocket scientists were the same core group that said, "The Colts pulled their starters with a 15-10 lead, which will help to position the team for a deep run in the playoffs." Oh, I see. What they are trying to tell us is losing late in the season is a necessary step in a championship season. Right, got it....WRONG!

"You play to win the game."

Football is the most precise team sport in the world, sorry curling fans. Dialing it in does not better prepare your team for the playoffs and neither do late season losses that cost you first round byes.

I was critical when Belicheat waved the white flag by pulling Tom Bundchen and the Boys with over five minutes to go (here) earlier this season and I fully supported Mike Tomlin's decision to play Big Ben in the meaningless regular season final last season where he received, you guessed it, another concussion. Football is a game that forces you to go all out all the time because the teams that win the Super Bowl are ALWAYS the teams that are completely in-sync.

Momentum is one of the most over used words in sports. There is an ebb and flow to all sports that centers on confidence and precision. In hockey "momentum" comes in the form of a short quirky goal tender that can do splits while wearing 40-lbs. of equipment. The old saying in baseball is that momentum is only as good as tomorrows starting pitcher. And Basketball is basically a 40-minute phone-it-in-a-thon leading up to the final eight minute kick start where the ebb and flow of the game is entirely predicated on the referee's standing with his bookie (here).

Football is different. In no other sport do you have to rely on eleven individuals to work in unison, in three-phases, for 60 minutes. Any one of those phases falters and it can cost you a championship.

The only time that the Indy Colts have won the Super Bowl they had to play their way into the playoffs and into the Wild Card round. Every time they have had a bye they have lost. Oh, and please don't tell me that the Colts won Super Bowl V, I know they did but that was the Baltimore Colts they did so with a rookie idiot kicker and two guys from the Cowboys were named MVP, they were an entirely different team.

Peyton is all about timing and you don't help your timing by holding a clipboard.

In fact this decade has only seen one #1 seeded team win a Super Bowl, 2003 Patriots. That team won the final 11 games leading to the last game of the season and instead of pulling the starters Belicheat sent out the first stringers to dismantle the Bills 31-0 in a totally meaningless game.

More to the point of the nine teams that have won the Super Bowl this decade eight of them did so while playing hard through the final five games of the season. The only team that mailed one in was the Tampa Bay Bucs in 2002, where they started Rob Johnson. Of course that team won the Super Bowl because of a stifling defense. I mean I could have started at Quarterback and they still would have won.

Jim Caldwell really didn't learn anything from Tony Dungy's mistakes, in fact I think that by definition he is insane. You know the whole repeated behavior and expecting different results thing. The Colts are destined to lose early and the Vikings are just bad.

There is a silver lining for those teams however, because this year they play the Pro Bowl the week before the Super Bowl. So it's not like media darlings Brett and Payton won't have an opportunity to settle the on going raging debate over "Greatest Quarterback" in history (Regular Season Category) on the field...it's just going to take place in a meaningless game.

Then we can get on to the trivial stuff like who's the best team in football.

Come On Guys, It's 54:30 or Fight

What was that? Really benching Brady, Welker AND Moss with over five minutes left. What happened to the the Bill Belichick that condescendingly taught us in 2007 that there is "no such thing as running up the score" because you have to play to win for the full 60 minutes. Was there some little caveat that we didn't read? Perhaps a nuance that we missed during one of his informative press conferences? I mean those things are less animated than the Royal Guard.

Please don't tell me that I would have been giving him a hard time if any one of those guys got hurt. I wouldn't, because I didn't have a problem when Tomlin ran Roethlisberger against the Browns last year in a meaningless game and he got a concussion jeopardizing the Steelers run, to what ended up being a 6th Super Bowl. I didn't complain then so give me a break.

Bottom line, Belicheat QUIT. Period end of discussion and anyone that spins it any other way is full of it. He went for it on 4th and 2 because he would NEVER give up; He plays to win; Nobody takes as many chances as the Little Tuna right? WRONG! Turns out that he isn't a 60 minute man, which might explain the two divorces. It's got to tweak Billy knowing that if the Colts only played hard for 54:30 they would have 4 losses this year.

Man the Patriots look to be in real trouble...oops, wait I forgot, Belichick is a genius.

A Matrix with Simulation? Count me IN!

"Advanced football matrix and computer simulations, using NFL data, are pretty clear, when you are 4th and 2 on your own 28 up 6, you have a better chance of winning when you go for it."

-Brian Kenny, ESPN SportsCenter, host

WWHHAAAAAAAATTTTT? Really? Unbelieveable.

"Never tell me the odds."

-Han Solo, Kessel Run Champion, smuggler

Ok, I get that Belicheat is smart and, of course, he has the hardware to prove it, but the fact that so many talking heads are lining up behind this decision is mind boggling. I mean even two of his former players, Rodney Harrison and Teddy Bruschi, have come out against the move. Why doesn't anybody

Reporters used Barry Switzer as a pinata when he made a similar call against the Eagles years ago. Chuck Noll, the only head coach in NFL history to win four Super Bowls, was pummeled for doing the same, and he actually apologized to his team for making the decision. Super Bowl winning coaches have made bad calls in the past and been called out by the national media. And rightly so. The decision to go for it, on fourth down, inside your own thirty yardline with two minutes to go, alienates your defense, angers the opposing defense and energizes the other team's offense. There are too many possible negatives that can come from that play to make it a sound football decision.

Punt the ball trust your defense, period. He knew he made a mistake, watch the tape. He also should be getting killed for allowing his team to blow two timeouts in twenty seconds and making it impossible for the Patriots to challenge the ruling on the field. Kevin Faulk, by the way, got the first down, how do I know that you ask? Because he always gets the first down. But the instead of being able to challenge the call, the arrogant Parcells cast-off got what he deserved...the loss.

I wonder what the reaction would have been if the EXACT same thing happened to the Cowboys? You think we would be hearing about computer simulations and NFL paradigms? I'm sure that the same mdeia types would have Wade Phillips' back don't you think?

...Exactly.

Pump the Brakes

Ok, ok, ok. I get it Brett Favre made a great play and I think that he really seems to be staying within the offense, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. It's a long season.

I seem to remember a similar story 12 months ago when the whole Eastern Seaboard was preparing for the inevitable Giants-Jets showdown in Superbowl XLIII. Both teams were flying high, Burress was still catching touchdown passes from Eli and young Mr. Favre was being referred to as Broadway Brett. What a difference a year makes, huh?

There are only certain things we can count on in the, Jerry Glanville labelled, "Not For Long" League.

First, we know that Dallas can build a stadium that floats in the air while solving the financial meltdown and it still won't help them win in the Playoffs. Sorry, Jerry. That stadium will be a major draw for musicians, concerts, conventions, circuses and tractor pulls, but it won't attract winning football until you hire Shannahan or Holmgren.

Second, teams records after the first month are always skewed. The NFL's schedule is set up to create parity. The better teams in the league from the previous season typically have a harder schedule early to create balance, and vice versa. Look at Denver, everybody is saying that the Donkeys are having the last laugh because they are 3-0. I promise the same geniuses will be singing a different tune when we look back five weeks from know, when they are 3-5. Check the schedule and their roster, if they're .500 it's a moral victory.

Third, and most importantly, Brett Favre is going to disappoint everyone. He's like a guy who can't quit drinking. Sure he'll go along nicely for awhile, everyone will say "look it's the NEW Brett Favre", the Vikings will be on their way to the playoffs, but then suddenly and without warning...blammo back to earth. Just like the temporarily sober drunk, he will get all preachy about the genius of Childress and he'll throw some old coaches under the bus nationally by saying that if he had only been coached by him before he would have won two or three more Superbowls. But it will all be a lie and everyone will be left wondering how they didn't see it coming.

Well everyone, that is, except me.

Conspiracy? No, Just the Truth

Thanks a lot John Madden. I hope you sleep well. Troy Polamalu is out for a month and a half, mission accomplished.

For those people that don't see the forest through the trees, John Madden has been doing his best Tessio impression for a decade. Exacting revenge for the Godfather in a Jumpsuit, Al Davis. Apparently, coach Madden and Alvis Davis still haven't gotten over the Immaculate Reception with the latest victim of Madden cover jinx. The most electric player in the NFL is out and who should I see about that? Conspiracy or accidental coincidence?

This was no boating accident. Just look at the facts.


For a decade Al Davis has been using John Madden to do his bidding by passive aggressively awarding the cover of the multi-billion dollar video game to the player that rubs the Minister of Darkness the wrong way.

Barry Sanders was the first cover boy, played for the Lions and was never in any real position to hurt the Raiders. That is until the schedule makers had the Lions opening the season against the Raiders,. That just would not do, so Al allowed the Hall-of-Fame running back to retire quietly with no explanation prior to the season.

Next up Dorsey Levens. Levens was a true overachiever with the Green Bay Packers and had as much to do with getting to those two Super Bowls as anyone this side of Reggie White. The Raiders chose to draft running back Calvin Jones with Levens still on the board  and Davis made a point of mocking Ron Wolf's selection of Levens later in the draft. Levens actually commented on the Raider Chief's dis during the Packers first run to the Super Bowl. Sure Dorsey was just sticking up for himself but nobody puts Baby in a corner. Levens needed to go down and he had to go down Hahhd. Levens was cut from the Packers just after the games release date.

The cover jinx picked up steam with Eddie George. Eddie was a Pros Pro. Hard nosed, ultra durable and clearly more talented than Ricky Dudley, a tight end and teammate of George's at Ohio State. Al probably fell asleep during the scouting report and selected the the apt-named Dudley five slots ahead of George. This was the first time Al used his dark magic, as he summoned the Football Beezlebub during the second half of the AFC Championship Game against the Baltimore Ravens. Eddie's costly fumble late in the game lost the game for the Titans and George never regained his status as an elite back. Today Eddie best known as the husband of that woman from Survivor.

Don't make Al look bad, you wouldn't like him if he looks bad. 

Cover boy, and former league MVP, Shaun Alexander was drafted 19th overall by the Seahawks in 2000. The Raiders had the 17th overall pick that year and Al selected... Sebastian Roofie-kowski. By the way Janikowski is a kicker!

Vince Young? This one was actually done as a favor to former Raider Kerry Collins. It's a little convoluted, but rumor has it the Kerry Collins actually has pictures of—I shouldn't spread rumors. Let's just say Al Davis really, really likes Alpaca.

Mike Vick, Duante Culpepper, Donovan McNabb? Al is a well known dog lover, regularly charters boats with stripper poles and loves him some T.O..

I know what you're saying, "What about Madden 'favorite' Brett Favre? Sure he had a bad year with the Jets and is destined to ruin the Vikings Super Bowl aspirations, but Madden loves that guy."

Does he? Does he, really? Or is it all just a clever ruse, a head fake to throw us off the scent?

How do you think Al feels about drafting Todd Marijuana-vich the former Southern Cal. quarterback. Oh, I'm sure he's fine with it, I mean it's not like there was anybody else on the board when the Raiders drafted that guy in the first round. Well, except maybe that strong armed kid from Louisiana that was selected nine picks later by the Falcons. Which kid? You guessed it...Brett Favre.

Any questions? Look it's only a matter of time until we hear about a mysterious lis franc injury from Larry Fitzgerald. Because the ONLY time in the history of the Raiders organization that Al Davis was talked out of drafting speed above all else, they selected back-up guard Robert Fabio Gallery with the second overall pick. One spot ahead of...wait for it...Larry Fitzgerald. Larry we hardly knew ya.

Maybe it's a coincidence but Madden recently said he would like to see his video game expand into college football. Oh, that's probably just a good business decision don't you think. It probably has nothing to do with getting back at a certain loud mouth coach in Tennessee that made a point of embarrassing Mr. Davis in public. Yeah, I'm sure that's nothing...

The truth is out there...