Conspiracy? No, Just the Truth

Thanks a lot John Madden. I hope you sleep well. Troy Polamalu is out for a month and a half, mission accomplished.

For those people that don't see the forest through the trees, John Madden has been doing his best Tessio impression for a decade. Exacting revenge for the Godfather in a Jumpsuit, Al Davis. Apparently, coach Madden and Alvis Davis still haven't gotten over the Immaculate Reception with the latest victim of Madden cover jinx. The most electric player in the NFL is out and who should I see about that? Conspiracy or accidental coincidence?

This was no boating accident. Just look at the facts.


For a decade Al Davis has been using John Madden to do his bidding by passive aggressively awarding the cover of the multi-billion dollar video game to the player that rubs the Minister of Darkness the wrong way.

Barry Sanders was the first cover boy, played for the Lions and was never in any real position to hurt the Raiders. That is until the schedule makers had the Lions opening the season against the Raiders,. That just would not do, so Al allowed the Hall-of-Fame running back to retire quietly with no explanation prior to the season.

Next up Dorsey Levens. Levens was a true overachiever with the Green Bay Packers and had as much to do with getting to those two Super Bowls as anyone this side of Reggie White. The Raiders chose to draft running back Calvin Jones with Levens still on the board  and Davis made a point of mocking Ron Wolf's selection of Levens later in the draft. Levens actually commented on the Raider Chief's dis during the Packers first run to the Super Bowl. Sure Dorsey was just sticking up for himself but nobody puts Baby in a corner. Levens needed to go down and he had to go down Hahhd. Levens was cut from the Packers just after the games release date.

The cover jinx picked up steam with Eddie George. Eddie was a Pros Pro. Hard nosed, ultra durable and clearly more talented than Ricky Dudley, a tight end and teammate of George's at Ohio State. Al probably fell asleep during the scouting report and selected the the apt-named Dudley five slots ahead of George. This was the first time Al used his dark magic, as he summoned the Football Beezlebub during the second half of the AFC Championship Game against the Baltimore Ravens. Eddie's costly fumble late in the game lost the game for the Titans and George never regained his status as an elite back. Today Eddie best known as the husband of that woman from Survivor.

Don't make Al look bad, you wouldn't like him if he looks bad. 

Cover boy, and former league MVP, Shaun Alexander was drafted 19th overall by the Seahawks in 2000. The Raiders had the 17th overall pick that year and Al selected... Sebastian Roofie-kowski. By the way Janikowski is a kicker!

Vince Young? This one was actually done as a favor to former Raider Kerry Collins. It's a little convoluted, but rumor has it the Kerry Collins actually has pictures of—I shouldn't spread rumors. Let's just say Al Davis really, really likes Alpaca.

Mike Vick, Duante Culpepper, Donovan McNabb? Al is a well known dog lover, regularly charters boats with stripper poles and loves him some T.O..

I know what you're saying, "What about Madden 'favorite' Brett Favre? Sure he had a bad year with the Jets and is destined to ruin the Vikings Super Bowl aspirations, but Madden loves that guy."

Does he? Does he, really? Or is it all just a clever ruse, a head fake to throw us off the scent?

How do you think Al feels about drafting Todd Marijuana-vich the former Southern Cal. quarterback. Oh, I'm sure he's fine with it, I mean it's not like there was anybody else on the board when the Raiders drafted that guy in the first round. Well, except maybe that strong armed kid from Louisiana that was selected nine picks later by the Falcons. Which kid? You guessed it...Brett Favre.

Any questions? Look it's only a matter of time until we hear about a mysterious lis franc injury from Larry Fitzgerald. Because the ONLY time in the history of the Raiders organization that Al Davis was talked out of drafting speed above all else, they selected back-up guard Robert Fabio Gallery with the second overall pick. One spot ahead of...wait for it...Larry Fitzgerald. Larry we hardly knew ya.

Maybe it's a coincidence but Madden recently said he would like to see his video game expand into college football. Oh, that's probably just a good business decision don't you think. It probably has nothing to do with getting back at a certain loud mouth coach in Tennessee that made a point of embarrassing Mr. Davis in public. Yeah, I'm sure that's nothing...

The truth is out there...