Topic- Super Bowl Champs
Kansas City, St. Louis, Detroit, Tampa Bay can't win because, well let me use a movie analogy. These teams remind me of those Transformers films. No, not because they are in the middle of a large overhaul where they are Trans-Forming into somethin- it's because they are AWFUL, terrible? Legendarily bad.You can put Megan Fox at Quarterback and they would still stink. They'd be more watchable but they would still stink.
Speaking of bad, no team from the NFC West can win the Super Bowl. I'm pretty sure that that was the deal Eddie DeBartolo made with the Devil but I can't confirm it. At any rate it's a rule. Sure they can make the Super Bowl, but even last year when the Flying Fitzgeralds made their run it was an illusion. That team was 9-7. That's ridiculous, a good team goes 12-4 every year in that division. So we can easily cut Arizona, San Francisco, and Seattle away as well.
While we are on the topic of easy cuts Denver and Cleveland aren't in the discussion either. Two words- Belichick Tree.
The Idiot Owner Theorem tells us that Dallas, Washington, Cincinnati and, of course, Al Davis are out of the running. And while Miami isn't techincally covered by the IOT, they do seem desperate to join that club. This is evidenced by their apparent desire to increase their Idiots in Ownership Index, which as everyone knows plays a part in the aforementioned Theorem. The unintended consequence of this increase is that they MUST be eliminated from consideration because no team owned by Mark Anthony can win a football championship. They're OUT.
Teams with losers playing pivotal roles must also be whittled away. So let's play word association, shall we? I'll say a team and then you say the first L-O-S-E-R that comes to mind. Who's with me...
Chicago-...Jay Jeffrey George Cutler
Buffalo-...Give me a T. "Teeeeeee!" Give me an O. "OOoooooooooooooh!" What's it spell? "Hasn't won a playoff game since he caught passes from STEVE YOUNG."
Jacksonville-...their "Fans". Any fanbase whining about Blackout rules are pathetic LOSERS and the Football Gods will, in Sam Jackson's voice, "strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison" our beloved game.
San Diego-..Norv Turner. Wait, no LaDanian Tomlinson- er- the Spanos family. Nahnahnah No wait a second Shawn Tequila Sunset Merriman. Do I have to pick just one? Ok, I'll go with Tomlinson, because you can't hijack a nickname from a Monster like LT and then tap out of every single playoff game that you have ever played in. Tomlinson's the loser and the Chargers need to be hewn.
Even in the few exceptions where teams won Super Bowls without a top shelf Quarterback, you still have to have one that plays the part. These teams don't have one.
Carolina- Jake Delhomme, great story... not going to win a Super Bowl.
Houston- Matt Schaub, could be a Super Bowl caliber QB if he could stay on the field. He most recently got injured by the paint on the sideline.
New Orleans- Drew Brees, no team has ever won a Super Bowl with a midg- er, Little Person playing the toughest position in sports.
New York (AFC)- Mark Sanchez, no team has ever won with a rookie QB, but he'll be back down the road.
Minnesota- Brett Favre, despite what you hear from Ron Jaworski, Brett Favre hasn't been a reliable QB since the turn-of-the-century. The last play of the year for Minnesota's offense WILL be a pick, write it down.
For those keeping track that leaves the following teams:
Pittsburgh, Baltimore, New England, Indianapolis, Tennesee, Green Bay, New York (NFC) and Philadelphia.
Let's go NFC first.
Philadelphia must be whittled away for several reasons. The most important of which is that my Western New York bias kept, Syracuse grad, Donovan McNabb of the list of losers. Face it the one time, in six, that he actually got the Eagles to the Super Bowl he looked like an extra in the "Barf-o-Rama" scene from Stand By Me. We can chop the Eagles!
Atlanta feels like a team that is going to take a small step backward before making the leap into the big time. Matty Ice looked completely out of his depth in the playoffs last year and against a defense that wasn't really that good [editor's note- All nicknames with the word Ice in it should be eliminated. It shows no creativity and always sounds like nails on a chalk board when I hear them]. The Falcons go the way of the Dodo.
That leaves Green Bay and New York (NFC). My heart wants to pick the Packers because it would bother the national media to have a Favre-less Packer team in the Super Bowl. I also think that Dom Capers will have an immediate effect on their defense and that Aaron Rogers is one of the best five Quarterbacks in the league. Having said that, Rogers has to prove his durability and the running game is suspect. They're out which puts New York (NFC) in the Super Bowl against...
The AFC
Tennessee is out. Jeff Fisher just feels like one of those coaches that will never win the big one. Put him on the list of all-time great coaches but his list includes Don Coryell, Bud Grant, Marv Levy, and Dan Reeves. Plus Kerry Collins is still the Quarterback. Detonate the Titans.
Baltimore must be eliminated as well. That defense continues to produce, but the running game is weak and Joe Flacco hasn't proven that he can play well against the Steelers. Bye, Bye Birdies
The best thing to happen in the NFL in recent years was Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning winning the Super Bowl in 2006. Both good guys and well deserved. Now that we have that out of the way, Peyton throws too many picks in th playoffs and gets happy feet under consistent pressure. Indy's Defense is lost without Sanders and Freeney, and both show signs of wearing down. Indianapolis must be shaved off.
This leaves New England and Pittsburgh. Bill and the Belicheats seem to have picked up where they left off before the Brady injury on offense and with perennial nightmare Fred Taylor joining the backfield they could put up comparable numbers to 2007. But the defense is untested and undermanned. With the recent Seymour trade, as well as the entire draft strategy this year, it seems the Pats are setting up to reload in next years draft, which coincidently happens to be an uncapped year. Shrewed. But none of that helps them this year. Carve New England away from this years totem.
Super Bowl Prediction
New York Giants vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
To bad Wellington Mara and The Chief Art Rooney aren't alive to see this matchup. In the battle of the 2004 Quarterbacks Big Ben will have the upper hand. The Steelers defense could be legendary this year and Mike Tomlin is on his way to becoming immortal. Both the offense and defense have added talent to last years team and they have a focus that was lacking from the 2006 team. Remember the names Lawrence Timmons, Mike Wallace and Stefan Logan. Steelers win 35-10
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