Look It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Madonna

Thank God Madge is around to tell us what we're doing wrong. Here's the thing Madonna needs to shut up. I really don't need to hear from Ms. Ciccone-Penn-Ritchie about morals, ethics, values, or principles. But to make matters worse today we also got to be scolded by Ethan Hawke, that bastion of virtue, as well.

I guess somebody needed to say something about the mistreatment of the Gypsies, who have been persecuted by the masses ever since Ian Fleming made them the focus of a storyline involving a British Spy and the Orient Express.

There is really nothing I enjoy more than hearing from the Material Girl. I mean she spends more than most countries annually trying to keep herself looking fit and fabulous. And for the record there is NO ONE on the planet that looks more tired. I think Desmond Tutu said it best when he said that she looks like she's been ridden hard and hung up wet. It might not have been Desmond but it was someone really impressive...I think. At any rate, at least she's still wearing creepy lingerie from the touring company of Cabaret.

However when it comes to matters of import, she is THE resource. Afterall she knows what it's like to be treated poorly, and she understands the nuances involved in ethnic rivalries and civil war. And there is nothing more impressive than hearing about those subtleties through an electronic vocal enhancer. Do YOU believe in Life after Love?

And let's hear it for Ethan Hawke. I mean talk about courage. This guy really has laid it on the line by supporting Madonna in her effort to rid the world of the bigotry involving the Gypsy community. Hawke knows a little something about the generalities associated with the Gypsies, afterall he has spent the majority of his adult life living down the very idea that he didn't shower because he was a slacker. Everybody knows that Mr. Hawke doesn't have the time to shower with all of the poetry, playwriting, angst riding, nanny banging, earnestness already on his plate.

So let me be the first to say thank you. Thank You Madonna for showing me that there is more to life than television, but it is important to own one for every room in your house. And thank you Ethan Hawke. Now I realize how pointless my life is because I don't understand what truly matters in life...the ability to go clubbing in New York with Jude Law and a truck full of college girls, bonus points if one of them is your nanny.

We are so lucky to have these philanthropists among us, I just wish I had them here with me to explain all of it to me everyday. It's my wish that everybody on the planet one day have the ability to hear Madonna's teachings and that, if she can find the time, she expand her view to include another downtrodden group to her fold. A people in need of a voice...the Amish.